Stand - Britt Nicole
This song has really been on my heart over the past few days. There is a certain section in this song that really speaks to me and I feel that God is really trying to get this concept through my head.
When my heart is hurt too much
Feels like I've reached the end
No, I won't turn and run
This battle will be won
When I've done all I can
I stand stand stand
Recently I've been learning that the longer I walk with the Lord, the less my will is done. As a girl who likes to have control, this sometimes leaves me grasping for answers. I have started finding myself sitting on my bed asking God for direction and help, because I have no clue what I am supposed to be doing.
I guess that's His purpose. I'm not supposed to know the step-by-step agenda. What use would I have for Him at that point? With my complete list of To-Do's handy I would take off, leaving God in the rear view mirror. Forgetting that it is Him that supplies my needs, fills me with joy, and is the source of my strength.
"Guide my steps by Your word, so I will not be overcome by evil." Psalm 119:133
My battle is not with God, but with myself. I have to daily, constantly die to myself so God's will would be done (Gal. 5:24). Easier said than done though, right? It is so hard when where I thought I would be, who I thought I would be, what I thought I would be doing is not at all where, who, or what I am now. So, I find myself in a place unfamiliar to me, and I have no game plan of my own. I am totally reliant on God and His guidance.
And, you know what? I am 100% okay with that. Yes, some days I wake up scared, confused, frustrated... but at the end of the day, it is not me who is running my life, and that is okay. Because as long as I'm following Jesus Christ daily, making Him Lord of my life daily, and listening to His voice daily, I know that everything is going to be okay. I do not know how everything is going to end, and that's okay. I don't know where God will lead me, and that's okay. I don't know what I will lose along the way, but that's okay. Because when I reach the end of a long, hard, frustrating, confusing, defeating, disappointing day I am confident in Christ, and I stand in victory.
"But thanks be to God! He gives us victory through the Lord Jesus Christ!" I Corinthians 15:57
